Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
