I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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