god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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