what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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