Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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