why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
