you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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