Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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