sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
