The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
