If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just cut my nipple shaving
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
