He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize