we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
