No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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