How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
