she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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