how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Randomize
