that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Boobs are out for the taking
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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