ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I stole a fireplace last night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
