life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
