He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
