The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
