I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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