U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
