I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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