She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
and eventually we just all took our pants off
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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