hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Drake has all the answers
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
