I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
