Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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