were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize