One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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