dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize