fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
