Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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