Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
