I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Randomize
