i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
