there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
