Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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