Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Semen is not good for contacts.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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