Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
