the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
