Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
