I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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