I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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