I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
