You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
