I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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