wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
