Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My hand turned me down
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
