please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
