I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
