I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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