dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
