god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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