I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
