Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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