Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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