4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
