Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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