i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
