i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
