FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
