is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
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So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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