You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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