Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we're making bets on your personal life
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
