This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize